A Meme to Start April

Despite my blog’s title, I don’t actually do memes very often. Or perhaps, in keeping with the title. Depends on how you look at it. But it’s Saturday night in a hotel in Chicago and the kids are all trying to nod off. I don’t have much on my mind, so here goes.

Oh, wait. Go visit my friend Bine (she named my car). She needs a name for her spiffy new black iPod.

1. What do you wish your name was?
Hapford Grinkus Rustafson, III, esq.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
My Birkenstocks

3. Last thing you ate….
A small handful of almonds

4. Favorite quote?
Those who know don’t have the words to tell and the ones with the words don’t know too well. (Bruce Cockburn)

5. I say Shotgun, you say?
Wedding. Shotgun. Wedding. Boys will be boys.

6. Last person you hugged?
Alyssa. About 10 seconds ago.

7. Africa or Mexico?
Africa for the music, Mexico for the food.

8. How many U.S states have you been to?
Couple dozen. Maybe 3.

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?
4 – IL, IN, MA, WI

10. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
Hope so.

11. Name something you like physically about yourself:
My quads are strong and well-formed.

12. Something you don’t?
My big ole gut.

13. Who is your best friend?
Several. My friends have been very good to me.

14.Why are you still up?
Because it’s only 10:19 and I don’t quite feel tired.

15. Who/What made you angry today?
The fucking bitch who came out of her condo just to give me a hard time about changing Emma on my front seat, 3 hours from home, telling me “You know, there are public restrooms. Which there weren’t in any reasonable distance. I didn’t have my mental “fighting ready stance” on, so she caught me off guard. Otherwise, I would have said something simultaneously witty and dryly offensive. Like “Oh, good! I was looking for someone to manage my every decision for me. Can you fill that position?” Instead I just got cranky and swore at her to stay out of my business.

16. Favorite type of Food?
Tie. Thai and Indian.

17. Favorite holidays?
Both the solstices. Halloween is pretty fun, for sure.

18. Do you download music?
Yes. Legally. I subscribe to Rhapsody.

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Socks? See #2 above.

20. What are you wearing right now?
Flannel pajama pants, purple tie dye. Tidy whities. Band-aid on left big toe.

21. Would you date the person who posted this?
Got it via several places. Yes to all of them. They’re all taken.

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Sure. I hang around a lot of musicians. In the spirit of the question, we had various friends sing at our wedding. Some of the finest music ever performed. I’m still waiting for a personal serenade from Missy Higgins or Erin McKeown.

23. Do you love anyone?
Yep. My kids. All of my immediate family. All of my immediate in-laws. Many of my friends.

24. Do you like George W. Bush?
He’s an embarrasment to all Americans. He’s set us back decades in the international arena with his foreign policies. He’s made life worse for most Americans with his abominable domestic policies. What’s to like? Demonstrably the worst president we’ve had. I’m very proud to be an American, terribly sad about many of the people who represent us.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
Nope.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
Yep. Hell of a good time.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
I think so. I’ve never been super in tune with hitting on and flirting, sadly. You kind of have to hit me over the head with a 2×4 if you like me.

28. How much money ya got in ya pocket?
None. I’m in my flannel jammies.

29. Have you met a real redneck?
Does being friends count as meeting one?

30. How is the weather right now?
Mid 50s with a 100% chance of dark.

31. What are you listening to right now?
Linda Hicks – The Woodthrush’s song. Not on Rhapsody yet, so no link.

32. What is your current fave song?
9 Crimes – Damien Rice. Several Mary J. Blige are right up there too.

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Geez. In its entirety? I can’t even rememeber. Good chunk of the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Half of Annie. 3/4 of Hoot.

34. Do you wear contacts?
Yep.

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
This hotel room?

36. What are you afraid of?
Entropy.

37. How many piercings have you had?
Two. Same ear, same spot. All gone now.

38. How many pets do you have?
Two cats. Which is two too many.

39. What’s one thing you’ve learned?
Those who know don’t have the words to tell and the ones with the words don’t know too well.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Coffee. Whatever the “bold” brew is. Black.

42. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yep. Rifle range at summer camp.

43. Are you missing someone?
Yep. Bigtime.

44. Fav. TV show?
Good Eats.

45. Do you have an iPod?
Yeah. A dead one. And a stolen one. I guess you could call that one mine still.

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
I don’t think so. Though I do think I overheard several fine ladies at the restaurant tonight looking my way and saying something about a resemblance to Leo DiCaprio.

48. Who would you like to see right now?
Anna.

49. Favorite movie of all time?
Memento.

50. Do you find yourself loved?
Yep. By my kids, family, in-laws, friends. I’m pretty damn lucky that way.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to?
Nope. No way. Never.

52. Favorite flower?
Uhm. Flowers are pretty.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
Unpopped. Mmm. Crunchy.

54. What Magazines are you reading?
None. Who needs magazines when you have a massive blogroll?

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yep. Prom. And to the airport once.

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently?
Yes. My wife.

58. What’s something that really bugs you?
Ants. All over my kitchen right now.

60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
His music.

61. What’s your favorite smell?
The scent of my lover.

62. Favorite baseball team?
That’s the one with the stick and the white ball, right?

63. Favorite cereal?
Oatmeal. Steel cut. With fresh fruit cut up in it.

65. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep?
Oh, probably 36 hours in college.

66. Last time you went bowling?
Maybe a month ago with the kids and friends. Even Emma beat me.

67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Jail. With a dude getting himself off in the next bunk and not being very discreet about it.

68. Who was your last phone call?
My brother on the way up to Chicago.

69. Last time you were at work?
Yesterday.

70. What’s the closest orange object to you?
It’s pitch dark. Does the Firefox icon in the taskbar count?

Here’s a blank one:
1. What do you wish your name was?
2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
3. Last thing you ate….
4. Favorite quote?
5. I say Shotgun, you say?
6. Last person you hugged?
7. Africa or Mexico?
8. How many U.S states have you been to?
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?
10. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
11. Name something you like physically about yourself:
12. Something you don’t?
13. Who is your best friend?
14.Why are you still up?
15. Who/What made you angry today?
16. Favorite type of Food?
17. Favorite holidays?
18. Do you download music?
19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
20. What are you wearing right now?
21. Would you date the person who posted this?
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
23. Do you love anyone?
24. Do you like George W. Bush?
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
28. How much money ya got in ya pocket?
29. Have you met a real redneck?
30. How is the weather right now?
31. What are you listening to right now?
32. What is your current fave song?
33. What was the last movie you watched?
34. Do you wear contacts?
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
36. What are you afraid of?
37. How many piercings have you had?
38. How many pets do you have?
39. What’s one thing you’ve learned?
40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
42. Have you ever fired a gun?
43. Are you missing someone?
44. Fav. TV show?
45. Do you have an iPod?
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
48. Who would you like to see right now?
49. Favorite movie of all time?
50. Do you find yourself loved?
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to?
52. Favorite flower?
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
54. What Magazines are you reading?
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently?
58. What’s something that really bugs you?
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
61. What’s your favorite smell?
62. Favorite baseball team?
63. Favorite cereal?
65. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep?
66. Last time you went bowling?
67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
68. Who was your last phone call?
69. Last time you were at work?
70. What’s the closest orange object to you?

And the Winner Is…

It’s close enough to midnight Here’s a recap of the entries we have for the Name That Car contest:

• Ian – “Lightning Electric Racecar”
• Alyssa – “Cam” (short for Camry)
• Jess – Kali (…let it signify the death and destruction of the evil oil empires…)
• Bine – “Hotaru” (glow worm)
• Karrie – “Macha” (Irish Celtic Goddess of beauty and brightness), “Lalita Tripurasundari” (the red goddess)
• Jill – “Gaia” (…a good name for a female hybrid car…)
• Eden – “Thor” (Toyota Hybrid Of Rollicking)
• Missy – “Sa-weety” (sweet, shiny, red thing)
• Thordora – “Lonicera”, “Zeedonk”, “Chimera”
• Magdalena – “Hyman” (hybrid man-car. “I hope you never break your Hyman”)
• Fuzzy – “Hephaestus” (fiery red)
• The Reflective Teacher – “The Dude!” (I thought I was “the dude,” but then I met The Dude!)
• Kat – “Mule” (another hybrid), “Carmine” (a shade of red but if you can pull off a good accent)
• Miss Pudding – “Santa” (it’s red…but it’s green…)
• Jahsun – “The Turd Mobile”, “Levon”, “Mr. Hankey”, “The Hershey Highway Cruiser”, “George W.”, “Dubbya”, “Skat”, “The Skat Mobile” (the name options should be scatological – Emma is in potty training mode)
• Scott – “Nikola” (Named after Nikola Tesla)
• Heather – “Amaterasu” (it’s shiny and pretty)

Let it be known far and wide that my friends are some of the most creative people you’ll find anywhere. This list is awesome. I’m tempted to have 27 names for my car and just rotate them. But, alas, one name, like one Iron Chef, must prevail. And so, without further adeiu. Oh, wait. The restrictions:

1. This contest is open to all qualified persons 18 years or older except the following:
a. Employees of the Dufair clan and related clan household members, siblings, and parents of said Dufair family employees;
b. Employees of all related clans, and their immediate family members;
There is no purchase necessary.
2. A total of one prize may be won per household address, name, and or family residing in same, per contest, whether the prize is in cash, services, or merchandise.
3. Persons who have previously won a prize of either cash, services, or merchandise from any
of the Dufair clan (including, but not limited to the Dufair household) either from a contest or a station event, are subject to the following restrictions:
Persons who have won a prize valued up to $1,000,000 in the last 30 days are not eligible to win. These restrictions also apply to immediate
household members of contest or prize winners.

The winner is: Bine – “Hotaru”. It’s electric. It’s organic. It’s Japanese. It’s a bit unusual. Fits my style to a tee. And I think the car looks like a bit of a firefly, too.

Bine, email me your postal address and I’ll get a batch of cookies baked up and sent off to you. Hopefully they’ll survive the transatlantic trip ok and customs won’t freak.

Thanks for sharing the fun with me everyone.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Which one is the monkey?

Originally uploaded by Jason Dufair.

Today is my dad’s birthday. Have I ever told you what a great guy he is? Let me give you the short list:

• He calls me every couple days since the day I left home.
• He works at the homeless shelter.
• He helps a hispanic gentleman in his town learn English and American culture.
• He runs a successful small business that put food on our table and a roof over our heads growing up (and paid for a major chunk of my college).
• He’s a dedicated husband.
• He’s a former Olympic torch bearer.
• He’s utterly dedicated to his family.
• He was unbelievably supportive, both emotionally and financially during Anna’s illness.
• He’s a stupendous grandfather (who goes by the name of Bata – a term Alyssa coined when she couldn’t pronounce grandpa).
• He’s very active in his church and walks the walk more than he talks the talk when it comes to his faith.
• He’s a super uncle to my cousins
• He sends CDs to my kids of stories he’s read after hours into a microphone at work.
• He takes care of himself by walking nearly every day.
• He’s at least somewhat better looking than the monkey

Happy Birthday, Dad. Here’s to many more.

Update: I’m officially submitting this as my April entry into the Pulsate Olympics, now sponsored by GNMParents. I should probably do something more prose-y, but I think this works. My dad sure liked it.

Oh, Shit

I’m trying to potty train Emma. She has to be out of diapers to go to the Montessori school in the fall. One thing that worked with Ian was to let him run around the house without a diaper. I think it makes the kid more aware of their private parts just hanging out. What really makes it work, though, is the parent seeing the kid without a diaper every 30 seconds and asking if they have to go on the potty. So Saturday morning was kinda chill. I took Emma’s diaper off and we were making breakfast and such. She was running around, reading, doing a puzzle, eating, goofing off with her sibs, watching some TV. I was able to get her to go on the potty a couple times (with 3 chocolate chips for treats every time) and she had a few pee-pee accidents, one in the bathroom within inches of the desired target, one in the kitchen on the linoleum, and one in the front room on the carpet (grab the Lysol, Papa).

We finally wrapped things up around 11:30 as it was time to go car shopping. I diped her up and got everyone ready and into the car. I had to run in to grab the diaper bag and my shades. As I’m going back out, I look down at the carpet and I’m like “Damn. The cats must have shit on the carpet. I wonder if they’re getting sick or something. The litter boxes are pretty clean.” Then I look again. “Hmm. That didn’t come out of a cat. Oh, no. Eeeeeeeeew!”

The fun of potty training.

Yeah! Spring!

Yeah! Spring!

Originally uploaded by Jason Dufair.

Name That Car

While I resisted longer than my friend AT, I succumbed to the urge to buy a new car today. Perhaps it wasn’t a strong urge, per se. I’m pretty practical when it comes to cars. But it’s still fun to have a new car. We’ve driven our Toyota RAV4 since about 2002 and it’s been a fun car. But shnikes it’s small. As my two little ones get bigger, it’s just been untenable for them to ride in it. Their poor little tootsies just get too jammed up between the front seat and their car seats. And Alyssa has to ride in the front, something I’m not thrilled about since she’s only 9. She’s already bigger than some adults, but still. I have a Honda Odyssey, but that thing is a tank and only gets about 15 MPG around town. I can’t really use it as my main car in good conscience when we’re having another war for oil. So I got a Toyota Camry Hybrid. It’s supposed to realistically get about 40 MPG in the city and 38-39 on the highway. It’s a lovely sedan and all three kids fit in the back just fine with room to spare. I negotiated a good price with a minimum of stress. I think having three kids with you, bickering, spilling popcorn on the floor, one’s diaper hanging precariously low, gets the salesman down to his rock bottom price with a minimum of delay. I looked at the Toyota Prius which gets much better mileage even, but it’s just too small for the three of them in the back.

So I’ve had a tradition of naming my cars. Silly, I know. Perhaps I’ll grow up someday. Hopefully not. I had a $250 Subaru Wagon in college that I invited some friends (and a few drunk folks from the bar nearby) to come and paint. It ended up with peace signs and happy faces and stripes and whatnot. That was the “Love Mobile”. The next car I named was the first car Anna and I bought. A Dodge Neon. We named it “Levon” after the Elton John song. Then came the RAV4. “Ravioli”. The Honda Odyssey – “Homer”, both for the literary reference and the fact that it’s big, ugly, and clumsy like Homer Simpson. So now I have this hybrid electric car. It’s bright red. My current ideas for names are “Perkūnas“, after the Lithuanian god of lightning. Also “Indra“, the Indian god of lightning (ok, of weather and war, but I like the name) and “Illapa“, the Inca god of lightning (do ya sense a theme here?) Ian suggested “Lightning Electric Car”, perhaps a somewhat clumsy name, except that the acronym is LEC.

So I hereby announce the “Name That Car” contest. Submissions will be taken until midnight on March 29. If I end up using your name for my car, I’ll send you a batch of chocolate chip cookies (or some other culinary treat if, like me, you’re off of sugar and white flour). This could be as much fun as when Anna and I had a Name The Baby contest for Alyssa. Maybe I’ll just call my car King Waffle.

The Next Day

We had a nice evening. Lovely dinner – spicy african soup, wine. She had capellini pomodoro, I had a salad with chicken breast and blue cheese. The conversation flowed. We stayed after the waiter went home. We walked around Indianapolis in the warm night air.

So why am I freaking out then? I don’t know. The turbulence in my head was so strong going home I had to have the music up full blast just to be able to drive (until I hit the torrential downpour near home). I’ve not slept much this week and my only exercise has been Tae Kwon Do (which is nothing to sneeze at). But I’m just tired and feeling emotional, so I’m going to sleep on it and hopefully something will crystallize.

By the Way

6 and a half hours to go. I wanna be sedated.

A Spring in My Step

I’ve seldom been at a loss for words when I fire up my blog posting tool. But here I sit not sure how to say it, so I guess I’ll come right out and say it. I’m going on a date tomorrow night (3/22)! How do I feel about that, you ask? Mostly very excited. And nervous. She contacted me via a “wink” on match.com. I was in Arizona and saw the email, figured it was yet another of what I’ve discovered to be “dating spam”. Turns out she’s a very cute and very complex and interesting woman. She’s a teacher, just finishing college and about to start her student teaching. She has two daughters (one Alyssa’s age and one older) and is very dedicated to parenting. She seems to have a definite creative side too – writing, sketching. Of course, teaching is a creative endeavor in and of itself. She seems to be a pretty big music fan. That’s a big plus for me. Note the Mary J. Blige links off to the right – she’s a Mary J. fan and I’m quickly becoming one.

So we’ve been emailing and IM-ing and the conversation has flowed very naturally. We have some similarities in our backgrounds and it seems quite a bit of similarity in our outlooks and parenting styles, as much as I can tell thus far. Oh, and did I mention she’s cute? She lives an hour away in Indianapolis, so that’s perhaps a downside (especially with both of our commitments to work, kids etc.), but for now, it’s ok. I was relieved to heard my friend Bine did a 45 minute away relationship successfully for years.

I’m reluctant to post a link to her profile for privacy’s sake, but perhaps if/when we get to know one another (and she realizes I’m one of those bloggers) maybe I will. I don’t know if she’s discovered my blog yet (if so, Hi!). I’m kinda hoping she hasn’t since I’d rather not short-circuit the joy of discovering one another.

I feel a bit like a high schooler. Giddy, really. I haven’t been on a date since Def Leppard’s drummer had both of his arms. It’s just so nice to have someone to talk to and relate to. Not that I have a shortage of good friends and family IRL and here online. But the idea of romance is beginning to sound pretty attractive to me. Some part of my brain worries that it’s only been 8 months since Anna died and that somehow I’m going to end up feeling bad or guilty or something, but I’m just trusting myself and it feels right. And really, I started grieving over two years ago. I know there are still going to be hard times ahead in terms of grief, but that doesn’t preclude enjoying springtime with a sweet woman. I’m not in any rush to get deep into a relationship. Just looking forward to the daily banter of life with someone and maybe moving forward slowly.

Our date is going to be dinner tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

New Comment Strategy

Sorry for all the comment woes. What a waste of blogwidth to keep you all updated with this crap. I think I have a working strategy. Now ya just gotta know my name.

Update: None of my attempts to thwart spam are working. I’m getting deluged with comment spam. One every minute or less. I’ve turned off commenting temporarily until I figure it out.

Update: I think we’re back. Using Akismet now. Should stem the flow to just a festering sore.